Soulwork

In the past, my New Year's resolutions have been half-hearted attempts at somewhat insignificant issues, and that was that. I wanted to change this pattern and decided to start by being in service to something that would impact many.

As I worked on the Renewal Celebration last year with Stephanie Scott, I realized that taking this event on was a departure from my typical pattern. Holding an event was not something I had envisioned or desired, yet here I was - holding a huge event.

Something started shifting the moment I made my decision to take on this event. As I prepared, I opened up to what I wanted for myself in the upcoming year. My "resolution" for 1998 was to develop the habit of checking in with myself before making decisions, to make sure that whatever I was or was not doing was good for me...to be in the practice of not abandoning myself. I looked at where I was living, how was I living, how I was being with work, and I envisioned what it would look like if I was taking care of myself.

As I sat at each of the altars last year at the renewal celebration, I prayed for and sat with whatever was necessary to concretize my "resolution". Then I took it on. As I reflect, I start to see where I've lost my vision and where I haven't. I see where I have changed, and where I still need to work. At times this practice seems overwhelming and never ending. At other times it is fulfilling, rewarding and exciting. I have really just started and am so pleased with what progress I have made. Just realizing what some of my truths are, and living them, gives me a feeling I can't describe.

So, here I am, a year later, starting to feel the benefits of my resolution. I am thankful for my experience last year and excited to see what I will take on for the upcoming year. There's something about working on the celebration that started an internal process of reflection in me. I realize that, as I work on the celebration, I am somehow putting the process into motion. As we near the celebration, my excitement and anticipation builds about taking another step towards myself. I don't think that I will release my practice for this year to make room for next year's; I think I will maintain my prior resolution and take on my next one as my main practice.

I now realize that being in service to something like the renewal celebration truly opened up some major work for myself. I invite you to do the same, to hlp with this event or to participate in it, and see where you can go with it.

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