Soulwork

I had thought that the Darkside would be this weird, hard, frightening thing that would rock my entire imagined sense of emotional stability and I would spend years recovering. While I agree that parts of the conference were not particularly ego enhancing, it was absolutely liberating to find out that most of me doesn't particularly care about that. And bonus points! All those traits I've found so appalling in others and would never wish to see in myself actually serve a purpose and are useful tools. More bonus points!! The more I can get myself to feel these things in myself, the less I need to drag these people into my life to distress me in these manners. Warning!!! There are always new ways to be annoyed and their will always be some people around to do it. More grist for the mill.

"So why did you do it again?" I've been asked a multitude of times. "Because I felt like it." I've replied just as often. "The first time was so revealing, so refreshing, a beautiful bonding experience with the group and I laughed my ass off for two weeks straight. Why wouldn't I go again?" I'd heard enough times that the second time is when the actual work really begins and I entirely agree. The first time for me was all about staying afloat in the overload of information that came from "taking in a projection" The second time I actually could relate to all this new information and could even look forward to seeing more. I've even developing a deep sense of gratitude for these newly discovered parts of myself that I've viewed as so unsavory in others. I might as well, its no secret to anyone else I'm that way. Even harder for me to take is that the traits I find most admirable, beloved, and inspiring in others are also me Who'd of thought? I'm looking forward to a third time.

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